This too shall pass. Of course, it will. As everything does. But isn’t this sentiment a tad bit too morose to find peace in? In this transient journey of life, don’t you want for something to stick? Some people, some relationships, some promises, some commitments?… The very ‘sticky’ things that’d help you and give you purpose and strength while you’re waiting for something (unpleasant) to pass.
And what about the times when we use this phrase to console ourselves when we’re caught in a conundrum of matters related to the heart? Yes, I’m talking about love, the feelings of adoration, admiration and beyond… Yes, I want to talk about it because that’s where I’m coming from at the moment. And yes, I’ve been here before. Fortunately and unfortunately.
I’m finding both- peace and despair in the sentiment at the moment.
Peace, because I know that no matter what, life will go on, the feeling will be managed even if not exactly forgotten. What will remain (if that’s what’s to happen) will be a memory- a pleasant memory for once hopefully , touch-wood. As things are, as of now. And despair because, that’s not my idea of love (platonic or otherwise)… it has never been. And it’s only fair for it to be this way because there’s no other way for it to be felt truly. If you love, you want it to endure. Perhaps not to possess.. but to endure.
Because you can love from a distance, but it is only natural to want to be close. (I ought to specify that I don’t mean physical distance here.) For you to be theirs and for them to be yours. To be with each other. If you love, you want a happy ending, ideally together. Even in the face of so-called impossibilities and many-a-hurdles, amidst the walls of practicalities, there still burns a flicker of hope. Because, when you’re in love or in something you believe to have the potential to grow into that resounding feeling; how can you find anything but despair at the thought that it won’t stick? That it’s just a passing experience? How can you find joy in the fact that you’d move on to feel it for another or for another to feel it for you? When all you want in this moment is this particular love?
Call it maturity, resilience or finally understanding to strive to vouch for what’s one’s worth, all the romanticism and catharsis aside… I endeavor to love what/who loves me back and in the same core vein as I do. Because, I deserve it, and I deserve more than something unrequited or imbalanced. As do you. And everyone else.
After all, there’s self love too- that must be attained, endured and forever cherished. And then, everything else (unworthy) would be allowed to pass…
Originally written on 6/March/2018.