At some point in our lives, we all have been forced to move on from something, someone or someplace. It is a passage of rite that we all must go through in some from or the other, with varying degrees of intensity in our lives. Yet, one hears/reads of some story every now and then that leaves one awestruck. Or simply in a state of wonder…
Have you ever found yourself lost in deep thought, thinking how did he/she do it? Maybe it seems something impossible to you, maybe it triggers the emotion of fear within you… because while the act of ‘carrying on’, you realise is necessary and admirable. It also highlights the underlying pain, struggle and loss faced by the person. And most importantly, the realisation of the fact that everything cannot be explained or understood. Everything cannot be put into words, no matter how hard we try; and even then… something always gets lost in translation. For there are things in life which need to be experienced and lived through by oneself to really get acquainted with them. There’s always something more to be felt, experienced, understood and explored. Always. And, that is the abundance of this mystery called life.
As a person who’s moving on from something which formed a gigantic part of my life, a person who’s trying to move on to something new, I can tell you this- It doesn’t happen in one day. It is, in fact, an everyday process.
There’s a wise exchange between the pivotal characters in the movie Rabit Hole which describes it pretty well:
Becca: Does it ever go away?
Nat: No, I don’t think it does. Not for me, it hasn’t – has gone on for eleven years. But it changes though.
Nat: I don’t know… the weight of it, I guess. At some point, it becomes bearable. It turns into something that you can crawl out from under and… carry around like a brick in your pocket. And you… you even forget it, for a while. But then you reach in for whatever reason and – there it is. Oh right, that. Which could be aweful – not all the time. It’s kinda…
Nat: not that you’d like it exactly, but it’s what you’ve got instead of your <whatever you have lost/ what you had to let go off>. So, you carry it around. And uh… it doesn’t go away. Which is…
Becca: Which is what?
Nat: Fine, actually.
Somedays, you’d find yourself reminiscing about happy memories and instances from the past, even if it was something unpleasant and hurtful, say, a bad relationship. Somedays, you’d find yourself getting flashbacks of what was wrong… reminding you how you had to do what you did, and how you did the right thing by leaving it all behind. And somedays, you’d find yourself in the shackles of misplaced guilt. Specially, if you’re a person (like me) who is his/her own worst critic.
But you know, what’d be most important? The most important part would be when you’ll have to just keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep on walking ahead. No matter how tempting it’d be on somedays, the desire to look back. And, the only time you would; it would be to see how far you’ve come. And, that… in itself would become the source of strength which you’d need to draw from… every. single. day.
If you’re lucky, you’ll have a friendly face around you and supportive hands on your shoulders. But if you aren’t so lucky on that front, stay strong. Remember that someone somewhere is out there, just like you and hence, you are never really alone.