Introspection, Poems

To be (w)hole

There’s a gaping hole
In my soul.
I no longer merely want to
decorate my house. But
create a home. With
not just things but someone I love.
And, who loves me back. In a way
that fills the cracks in my heart.
There’s no agony.
No more pain.
No reminders of
the bruises of the past.


You & me, cannot be!


I’m lying here wide awake at 3
Feeling these things intensely-
Oh, how my heart longs
For thee!

I find myself stretching my hands
Out, in front of me-
An attempt to find yours in the air
Yes, that’s my fantasy.

I’m trying to rationalise
Yet there isn’t any respite
My whole body, & my soul
Need for you to be around me.

And then, I tell myself
It’s for the very best
For both- you & me.

Must not reach out
Must stick to my ground,
Continue to exist distantly…
There cannot be a you & me.


La Douleur Exquise


Don’t wanna move an inch
Don’t wanna try to get off the bed
For each move feels too hard
Just like the weariness
Inside of my heart.

 Just wanna keep lying here
Using sleep as an escape from this numbing fear
For remaining sprawled in the fetal form
Seems to make the agony in my heart
Faintly disappear.

This pain that I’ve acquired
Is so cruel
And so is the anguish of my soul
But the spectacular that I get to witness in return
Makes it all feel like discovering pure gold.


Falling Apart


Source: Fall Apart by Nachan {deviantart}

I might as well be dead
My life is about to fall apart,
Into a million pieces…

Too weak to make it stop
Feels like I’m being ripped apart,
To miniscule bits & pieces…

No one to call my own
Everybody has just ignored
And it has damaged my very core,
All the deceit & disconnect…

Note: Found this partly completed poem in the “notes” of my phone. Must have typed it spontaneously, ‘in the moment’. I considered completing it at first; but then I thought I will post it as it is. Truest to the moment gone…


Love will see me through…

The Poetess’s Note Love & Pain: Two of the most potent emotions which inspire artists to create!

This love I feel for you
It’s beautiful, amazing and true!

Your voice calms my demons
Your smile soothes my soul.

And even though I know-
I can never have you
Oh baby, I’m all yours!


That one amazing moment
In which our worlds happened to collide;
That single, precious moment
Has brought my beaten soul
So much respite!

For the couple of seconds
That you knew
My sincere feelings for you;
The fact that I existed
In this world-
Somewhere around you.

They truly were the most exhilarating few;
That I’ve ever lived through!

They made me feel alive, for once
They made me feel some joy, for once
Oh baby, it’s all you!

And even though I know-
That I can never have you;
I know that my love for you
Will see me through!


Dedicated to BG