This took me so long because when something means a lot- we either want to shout it from the roof tops or we want to not utter a single word and keep it buried somewhere deep within us.

There are these people, around the world (who I think would still remember) what I thought of Linkin Park, Chester Bennington and all those songs. What they did for me back in the day, and TBH continue to do so even today.

Even if their music changed over the years resulting in not so kind feedback at times, I personally couldn’t look beyond this rawness and vulnerability coming forth through the lyrics.

And yesterday, since the news broke out, I haven’t stopped thinking… So many years. So many songs. So many difficult feelings and thoughts.

I’m very, very sorry.


There’s a sort of weird peace you find in accurately predicting things for yourself. Even if those things are anything but pleasant.

It’s kind of masochistically satisfying to know that you always knew. They weren’t just “bad thoughts” like people like to write everything off as.

That you know yourself (and your life) so well.

Kind of makes you (unfortunately) surer of yourself.
You know how this ends, how you end.

Hope is indeed, the greatest of all evils.
Makes me wonder, why I am still here…
What’s tying me down? Apart from the fact that I wouldn’t ever want to put someone through what I am going through, just to make it easier for myself.

But the question is, how much longer can I sustain?

I guess, sometimes we just need to be happy about the very fortune of meeting ‘that angel’. That someone who touched our soul and changed us forever.

“Love is never lost. If not reciprocated, it will flow back and soften and purify the heart.”
~ Washington Irving

My feelings are so strong, 
That the words no longer form. 
They fail me.